The Ends of the Earth and Back
by KhajiitWarriorSam
Summary: I gave all I could to please Astrid. And now she's gone. I swear to Sithis if it takes until the end of my days I WILL find a way to bring her back! And only then will all be right in the world. Female Dragonborn x Astrid and mature in later chapters.
1. Mudcrab

**Quick note: This is after the Dark Brotherhood Questline, the main character is a female Khajiit, it will be mature in later chapters, and it will have very little canon after the first few chapters.**

* * *

As I dismount Shadowmere I hear the distinct huffing and puffing of Aela and only a few moments later I am joined by the winded huntress. Remaining silent I walk away from both of them until I am only a few feet away from what I came here for. The Black Door. As I glance over my shoulder I see Aela sitting on the ground, near Shadowmere, pouring over our map. She seemed almost obsessed with the map, I have no doubt she had been staring at me only moments before. With a slight sigh I push open the heavy steel door.

The smell of smoke and death washes over me with so much power I almost gag. Blinking profusely I slowly walk deeper in to the once great sanctuary. As I arrive in the main sanctuary I can't help but walk closer to Arnbjorn's corpse. For some reason ever since I first saw him a hatred so intense had formed that every time I was around him I'd have to restrain myself from morphing in to my beast form and showing him what a real werewolf looks like. After giving Arnbjorn's uncaring corpse a quick kick to the head I continue deeper to get to what I came here for.

I don't remember getting to the room she's in. All I remember is seeing HER. Nazir and Babette call her a traitor. They don't understand her like I do. A small part of my mind will often whisper _"She wanted you dead_ _you know..."_ every time I come to see her. I know she wanted me dead, but in the end she cared. I think. Isn't that all that matters? I like to think it is, it has to be. But it doesn't matter what she did right now, nothing matters right now. Listen to me talking about a corpse like she's still alive. My nerves and feelings are getting the better of me. So I do what I always do when I come here to see her. I talk.

"I found a court wizard yesterday that sold me the Soul Trap Scroll for a steal. I plan on going out and practicing as hard as I can until my conjuring is as good as it's going to get. I've talked with Phinis Gestor and he said that when my conjuring is good enough he'll give me a test. If I pass he's assured me he has a scroll that will help me bring you back. He warned me that if I use the spell on you you'll come back good as new, but he said you might not be happy. I think he's just trying to pull my leg. Who on earth would like being dead more than being alive? I know you won't be as strong or fast as before, but I'm sure you can still help the Brotherhood like you always use to. Then you can come see all the stuff we did with the new sanctuary, you can explain in full why you did what you did to Nazir and Babette, and then maybe we can start over and grow to be even better friends than we were last time. I think you'd like that. You won't have a lot of the members and Arnbjon's dead, I think you'll get over it though. Actually I'm sure you'll get over it. I know you'll have a good laugh when I tell you how I struck down the emperor while he sat in his chair, all he could do was sit there and look like an old goat! I think I better go now, Aela wants to go to Winterhold and sell some of the treasures we've accumulated over the past few days. Well goodbye, Astrid!"

With a quick jump I'm running out of the sanctuary as if Alduin himself was after me. A heartbeat before I get out of the sanctuary I collect myself and try to look as casual as possible. No need to give Aela another reason to question my sanity. As I leap on to Shadowmere I feel a hand on my leg. As I look down I realize it's Aela, trying to keep me from running full speed ahead of her I suppose. "I think that going to Winterhold would take to long. I think we should go to Riverwood instead. And please restrain yourself from running miles ahead of me. Remember what happened going to Windhelm?" With a shudder I remember the fear of having to fight a Blood Dragon with only Shadowmere as a ally. "Alright fine we'll go to Riverwood. I hope you realize it might take a few days for him to buy every thing. And as for not getting ahead of you I'll stay to the paths but restraining Shadowmere from her full potential is a crime. I suppose I could wait at certain points but no more."After getting Aela to agree I point Shadowmere towards Riverwood and hang on as she speeds towards our destination. As I ride I silently curse Aela for just now deciding we should go to Riverwood. I could have had more time with Astrid.

* * *

As we stop to rest I see a small mudcrab walk his way along the edge of the river. Suddenly a piece of advice I heard about getting better at conjuring comes to mind. _Kill a mudcrab and use Soul Trap on it five or six times. Wait an hour and repeat. Continue until you feel your conjuring can't get any better._ Well looks like little muddy just got the honor of helping me bring Astrid back. "Hey Aela I know it's early but can we camp here for the night? I wanna practice my conjuring..." I yell over my shoulder. "Conjuring? Sure. Good to see you're starting to want to get better at anything besides two handed swords. I suppose I could practice my sneaking while you conjure." She answers from across the clearing. With a smile to myself I take out the Blade of Haafingar and slowly walk over towards the mudcrab. With a quick prayer to Sithis I slam the blade down on the mudcrab. As he collapses with one final twitch I smile knowing that soon I will have the person I gave every thing for once again by my side.


	2. Promises

**Another quick note: At this point Aela and the main character are taking the "Totems of Hircine" quest and because of Hircine blessing and protecting whoever goes on the quest Aela can't be killed (like in the game when you take but don't finished the quest) so Aela is basically invincible.**

* * *

With a groan I force myself to get up and prepare for the day. As I put on my wolf armor I look up and force myself not to growl in disdain. Riverwood is by far the last place I want to be. This is the third week we've been camped right beside the little mud hole of a city. Apparently the Riverwood Trader has even less money than Aela thought.

After giving Aela a quick shake to awaken her I look towards the sun. After a few seconds though I decide the time is around 5ish. As I leap on to Shadowmere I hear a few mumbled insults telling me that Aela is ready enough to leave. Hanging on I ride Shadowmere through town and over the bridge on Riverwoods north side. As I follow the bank of the river I keep my eyes alert for the slight change in color that would indicate a mudcrab's corpse.

After only a few minutes of riding I pull on Shadowmere's reins telling her to halt her neck breaking run. As I leap from my faithful horse's back I hear a loud huffing and puffing. Rolling my eyes at Aela's over dramatic gasping I saunter over to the mudcrab's uncaring body. I raise my hands and prepare for the Soul Suck Spell. As I once again perform the spell I can't help but have a feeling of despair wash over me.

I've been doing this at least three days a week ever since we got to Riverwood. I know that if Aela had her way we would have left a week ago for Whiterun and maybe Winterhold. It was only after an hour of persuading she finally agreed (although reluctantly) to stay in Riverwood. Although she refused to spend any money at the local inn.

As I do the spell for the fifth time I can't help but groan. I know that only a week ago I could only do the Soul Suck Spell twice before getting tired. Most people would be thrilled to have come so far in so much time. Not me however, I'm only a little closer to getting HER back. Although there has been a huge change. I can feel myself getting stronger and stronger. It won't be long before I talk to Aela about going to the Winterhold College.

Suddenly as I do the spell once again I feel something inside me swell and break. I close off the magicka flowing to my hands and turn to Aela. "What's wrong?" She ask while never raising her eyes from our map. "I'm done training. My conjuring is as good as it ever will be." I say while quickly looking around to make sure I have all of my belongings before I go to sit by Aela.

As she closes up the map she raises her eyes to me a lifts one eyebrow in her signature "What do you mean?" look. "You were there when I talked to Phinis. You remember what he said, right?" When she nods I continue. "Well my conjuring is at it's best and I want to go as soon as we can." After a quick second of thought I throw in "And we can stop be Whiterun and even Jorrvaskr if you want!"

As she chews her lip I can see the wheels in her mind turn, no doubt thinking about her options. "I would like to see the companions again. And looking around a little in Whiterun would be nice. I also suppose we could sell the rest of our stuff at Winterhold. Okay, but I do have a few conditions." She says all while packing her belongings up. "Anything." I whisper while visions of Astrid once again alive run through my head.

"I want us to go together, no running ahead. And I want to do minimal stopping. And should the need arise for night travel I want us both to travel in our beast forms. No wandering around in the dark like blind chickens." She declares while rising from the ground and marking a path on the map. "Sure, sure anything." I agree blindly as I jump up and down in impatience.

* * *

As I sit down by the fire Aela had managed to coax out of a few wet branches I can't help but have hope flare in my chest. We were only a day or two away from Winterhold. I can't help but curse myself for staying three days in Whiterun. Surely I could have convinced Aela to leave after the second. As Aela sits beside me I see the ring on her finger gleam in the light of the fire.

With a slight sigh Aela moves away and crawls in to her sleeping bag, no doubt to get away from me and my obsession that has followed me ever since I got a note in Riften with two words on it.**_ We_ _Know._**

Those two words have followed me ever since I first read them. Suddenly the ring on my finger (the exact smae as Aela's ring) gleams and my mind is turned elsewhere. My wife has followed me all across Skyrim, fought bravely by my side since I first joined the Companions, and done all she can to please me. She's even followed me on this wild hunt for a way to bring a woman that she has always hated back to life. And I can't even bring myself to kiss her. A wave of guilt washes over me. However as I lay my head down on my smashed pillow my mind wanders to thoughts of Astrid and all the things I never got to say to her in life. As these thoughts race across my mind I whisper in to the dead of night. _**"Soon. I promise."**_


	3. Dremora

As Shadowmere pulls to a halt in front of the College of Winterhold I feel hope rise in my chest for what seems to be the eight time this week. As I leap off of Shadowmere and run through the college doors I look over my shoulder to make sure Aela is with me. Sure enough the huntress is right behind me.

Turning my attention ahead of me I take a sharp left and run up the stairs, across to the other set of stairs, and down the stairs right before pushing the heavy oak door open to the Arcanaeum. As I push the door open I hear Aela mumble about how we could have just gone through the door on the right and gotten there a lot faster. Stopping for a few seconds to catch my breath and let Aela catch hers I quickly scan my eyes across the room. Spotting Phinis across the room I jog over to meet him.

Before he can say anything I quickly proclaim "My conjuring is at it's best and I want to take the test you told me about.". With a look of shock he quickly shakes off he answers "Well okay. I suppose I should run you through the test again. The supplies are ready on top of the roof. I'll teach you the spell to summon the Unbound Dremora. I must warn you once you summon him you MUST show yourself to be superior by beating him down. Once he is defeated he will return to Oblivion. It may take a few summons before he submits. Tell him to fetch you a Sigil Stone and bring it back to me. After I have studied it you will not only get a Sigil Stone but also the spell you want as a reward. Got all that?"

After a quick nod of my head he shows me the motion and words of the spell I am suppose to use to summon the Dremora. "Is there anything else you need?" Phinis ask. "Actually yes. You see while my conjuring is at it's best and my spells only cost half the magicka they usually would I still don't have enough magicka to cast this spell or the Dead Thrall spell. Here I think this amount of gold should buy me a expert robe in conjuration. That should make it to where I can cast them both." Handing over the gold and quickly putting on my new robe I quickly make my way up to the roof.

As I stand in the middle of the circle I see Aela draw her knife and take a few steps back. As I make the hand motions and say the words I feel my adrenaline rise as it finally dawns on me that I'm summoning a dremora. Not just a dremora a UNBOUND dremora. Dear Hircine what was I thinking. I briefly wonder if there is enough time to transform.

Before I can have any more thoughts invade my mind I hear a roar and see a blood red figure materialize in front of me. "Submit Dremora!" I yell even though every being in Skyrim knows he never would. "Never! You will pay for your ignorance mortal!" He yells before he aims a heavy blow at my head.

Quickly leaping back I pull the Blade of Haafingar from my back. Before the dremora can raise his arm or I my blade a loud screech interrupts the fight. Knife draw Aela leaps at the dremora and begins slashing faster than I've ever seen her. With a roar the dremora knocks Aela aside and charges at me.

Raising my blade and ignoring the heavy blow he landed on my side I bring my sword down heavily on his head. With a loud growl of he aims another blow. As I leap back I see Aela flying once again at the dremora. I quickly pull of the bloody robes and slam my Daedric Armor on. At least in this I'll have a LOT more protection than in that flimsy rag called a robe.

Before I can even prepare myself I hear a grunt of pain (no doubt Aela getting injured again). A heartbeat after I feel and see the dremora crash into my chest. I pull my blade out again as I see the dremora raise his arm once again. As my blade meets his shoulder and Aela's knife meets his back I crouch down to avoid his huge clawed hand decapitating me.

With a roar of frustration (Most likely due to the fact he now has to fight two enemies, he no doubt thought Aela was dead twice, and that the enemy he's facing has armor tougher than dragon scales) he turns and tries to force Aela back. To my surprise and the dremoras Aela holds her ground and starts aiming for the beast chest and neck. Before he can attack again I use my trusted blade to begin slashing his back until it resembles raw beef.

With one final growl the dremora falls to his knee and disappears into thin air. After using healing hands on Aela I once again dawn my robes and stand in the circle. This time the red figure has his head pointed towards the ground and gives no roar. "Ready to submit?" I say deeply hoping he is ready. "Fine. What will you have me do," He mumbles the last word. "master?"

"Fetch me a Sigil Stone. And quickly." With a slight growl he is gone from sight. After a few minutes of waiting I summon the dremora for the third (and hopefully last) time. When he appears I see to my delight he has a small stone in his hand. "Here it is master. I must say the owner of that stone isn't to happy about his stone's absence." And with that he is gone again.

Although I hardly notice. I'm to busy looking down at the stone. All I have to do is give it to Phinis. Then I'll learn the spell. I don't care if Aela complains after I learn the spell I'll ride Shadowmere as fast as I can to Astrid. Then it'll all be fine. It will be just like it use to be. As I head down the stairs I fail to notice the look Aela gives me. A look she gives me all to often. I look as if she's been captured by a madman.

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**Note: Reviews welcome.**


	4. Awake

As I wait for Phinis to finish examining the stone I impatiently twirl Wuuthrad in my grasp. When the creak of a chair alerts me to Phinis moving I quickly sheath the weapon. "Well?" I ask before he can even put his examining tools away. "I have the information I wanted. Now. Time for the reward I promised you. Here you go, the Flame Thrall spell." As he hands me a spell book I shift my weight and give a fake cough. At his look of confusion I sigh and say "And? What about the other spells you promised I could buy?"

As his face changes to take on a darker look I pull out my coin purse. "Oh, yes of course. Well which ones do you want? Frost Thrall, Storm Thrall, or Dead Thrall?" After a quick moment of consideration I pull out a huge amount of gold and say "I suppose I'll take all three." As he hands me the spells I see his eyes desperately search mine. No doubt looking for answers he won't find.

After I have all three spells in my grasp and the money is safely with Phinis, I quickly throw open the Dead Thrall book and read as fast as I can. After a few minutes of diligent reading I put the book away and pull out the Frost Thrall book. After which I pull out the Storm Thrall. As I read the Storm Thrall spell I can't help but cringe as I remember how Thalmor Wizards seem to be fond of calling Storm Thralls to their aid in battle.

As soon as the last word of the Storm Thrall spell is read I slam the book shut and quickly turn to leave. My destination clear in my mind, I rush to leave and mount Shadowmere once again. As I point Shadowmere west I go over the hand movements for the Dead Thrall spell in my head over and over. It would be a waste if I did all this only to end up standing in the ruins of the Dark Brotherhood Sanctuary waving my hands over a unresponsive corpse.

* * *

As I push open the sanctuary door my nose is once again assaulted with the smell of my burnt home and charred friends. With a sneer of disgust at the smell I walk past my dead brothers of darkness and in to the main chamber. Why I came here instead of going straight to Astrid I haven't the foggiest idea. I close my eyes, and almost like a river the memories come back to me. I keep my eyes closed long after the river has run dry. And for just a few sweet moments I pretend.

I pretend it was Titus Mede the Second that ate the poisoned meal. That I escaped over a unguarded bridged and slipped away to the marshes outside of Solitude. And when I returned home I was welcomed with cheers and a cold ale. After the celebrations were done I would simply go to bed and collect the payment tomorrow. And the future of the Brotherhood would look as bright as a star.

But the bitter reality sinks in as soon as I open my eyes. I drank in Astrid's lies like Vilkas drinks nord mead. The only difference is Vilkas gets over the aftermath the next afternoon. With eyes stinging ,from the smoke that has somehow managed to remain in the sanctuary, I turn to head into the destroyed room that now holds the body of my former leader.

As I enter Astrid's resting sight ,I put on my expert robes of conjuration and prepare to perform the Dead Thrall spell. As I near the body I take out a hooded robe, along with a pair of hide gauntlets and boots. I wouldn't want the public going into a panic when they see a moaning, groaning, charred, and nearly harmless assassin now would I? As I carefully put the clothes onto Astrid's uncaring body I snicker at the thought of her reaction if she could see me now.

With a deep breath I tap into the magicka I have stored and begin the hand movements. Moving my hands I jerk them to a stop and take aim at the charred corpse in front of me. With a prayer to Sithis I let the spell fly and watch as it hits Astrid dead in the stomach.

I can only watch in wonder and horror as my old friend and enemy jerks as if struck and begins to rise. As her feet touch the ground I hear her let out a groan, as if waking after a long slumber. I see her lidless eyes spin and hear her breath hitch. It only takes me a moment of thought before I realize her eyes have been open to the smoke all this time. With a quick curse I speed to the pool of water and (after drinking the small amount of milk) collect some in a milk jug.

As I reenter the room I see Astrid tense as a bow sitting in the middle of the room. Approaching her slowly I wonder how best to get her attention and not get killed or skinned. With a few cautious steps towards her I once again do what I've done every time I've been to see her. I talk. Only this time she can listen.

"Killing you was both the hardest and easiest thing I've ever had to do. You betrayed us. Not only the brotherhood but all of us on a personal level. I did all you said without a second thought. The only thing I ever did that you would disapprove of is take pity on a old fool. I let Cicero live. He just seems so important. Sithis knows Nazir wouldn't take care of our mother. I always admired and respected you. I know I should have stopped after I learned of your betrayal, but I don't think I can."

"I looked for a way to bring you back and I found one. Now you're back. I don't know what I want now." Her shoulders have relaxed but she stills seems cautious. I search my mind for something to talk about. It lands on the one person who doesn't deserve to be brought into all of this.

"My wife is outside. I don't think you've seen her before. She never wants to come in the sanctuary. You know when I first met her I thought she was the strongest woman I'd ever meet. She was independent and never backed down from anything. Almost every word out of her mouth was venom, and if you screwed something up she wouldn't let you forget it. Then we got married. It was one of the happiest days of my life. But when I went to my house in Windhelm it was a diffrent woman in my home. Her voice was soft and loving as if she was a mother trying to soothe her child. It held no trace of venom. It wasn't Aela's voice. And she never goes out hunting like she use to. It's like she was a completely different woman."

"She doesn't just talk differently. She walks differently, acts differently, by shore she even eats differently! I can't love her anymore. I'm in love with something else, always have been since the day I met her. The woman she use to be will always have my heart. I know it sounds strange, most people would love their wife loving and caring for them anytime she sees them. Aela treats me like I'm Hircine even when I'm away from her for months at a time. But I love people with fire in their heart and a strong backbone. She doused the fire and broke her backbone when she said I do. I miss when she would call me whelp and try to get me to back down."

"I'm horrible to her. We both know it. I think she just assumes I'm bored of her. I've just been trying to get her to be the woman I use to know. The woman I loved. We started a quest to find one of the Totems of Hircine about five months ago. She's never complained or told me we need to go get it. I'm sorry for telling you this. I'm just... it's hard. Hard to watch the person you love just wake up and be a completely different person."

As I wipe the tears from my face I almost jump when I hear Astrid speak her first words since she was brought back. "I don't know what to say. You brought me back and tell me one of your biggest secrets in less than five minutes. I think we have a lot to discuss. I know I have quite a few questions. But first things first. By any chance do you know a way to fix my eyes?" With a start I raise the water towards her eyes.

* * *

**Note:My apologies for the long wait. Due to some computer troubles I only now have my computer back.**

**Also I am considering writing a future chapter in the POV of Aela. So be prepared should that happen.**

**Cabbage Meow- Thanks for the review. Means a lot to me.**

**TheOtherLachance- Thank you for the reviews and constructive criticism(which will help me better the depth of the story and fix previous errors). Both are much appreciated.**


	5. Dinner

As I lead Astrid into the light I thank the Eight and One that I thought of having Aela and Shadowmere wait in Falkreath. As my eyes search the undergrowth for a wide enough space for two people to sit in I hear the snap of a branch. As I unsheathe my sword I turn my head in the direction of the noise and move to guard Astrid.

I let out a sigh as a lone penitus oculatus agent appears from between the trees screeching like a kagouti during mating season. His screeching is quickly cut off when my blade meets his heart. After pushing the bloody corpse out of our way I promptly sit and wait for Astrid to do the same.

With a groan of pain Astrid slides/falls to the ground and awkwardly curls her legs in to a sitting position. As she shifts and attempts to soften the frozen ground I pull out a ancient strip of cloth and lay it on the ground near us. After laying out a cold meal of cheese, bread, and Honningbrew Mead I turn towards her expectantly.

As she gingerly takes a bite of cheese I clear my throat in anticipation of speaking. She freezes mid-bite and turns her full attention towards me. "I imagine you have quite a few questions to ask. So feel free to ask and I promise I'll answer to the best of my abilities." As I break off a chunk of bread she hums for a few seconds before she finally decides on a question.

"What have a missed? What's happened while I've been gone?" As she speaks I can't help but hear a rasp in her voice that I've managed to miss until now. I push a bottle of mead in her hand as a answer. " Quite a lot actually. The emperor has died by my hand and the Dawnstar Sanctuary has been restored to it's former glory and the Brotherhood is stronger than ever."

As I quickly wolf down a small portion of cheese I can see her face take on a look of compilation. After a short period of thought she says slowly "I'm glad to hear that. What about Skyrim in general? Anything else change?" As I finish my small dinner with a quick swig of mead I then say "Well the war has finally come to a end. Roughly three weeks ago Tullius, Rikke, and a large force of imperial soldiers took Windhelm and slew Ulfric." I can't help but have a smile on my face at the last part.

"Anything else?" I say as I scoop the dirty cloth into my pack and chuck the empty mead bottles in after it. "Why?" With a sigh I close my pack and begin getting up. Only then do I answer "I'm afraid you'll have to wait a while to find that out." With that said I hold out my hand to help her up. With a sigh she accepts my hand and groans as I pull her up on to her stiff legs.

"Do you think you can make it to Falkreath?" I ask as I quickly scan the surrounding woods for possible threats or hindrances. "As long as you don't expect me to run." And with that she begins waddling/limping down the path to Falkreath.

* * *

As we walk into Dead Man's Drink I congratulate myself on the thought of hiding Astrid's burnt flesh from ignorant eyes by putting her in the thick flowing robes she wears now. As we approach the bar I see Valga raise her hand and call me over. "Something wrong?" I ask as I hold my breath and silently pray to Akatosh she isn't going to ask who Astrid is.

I only let my breath return when she answers "Aela came in here earlier, she gave me ten gold and gave me a message. She tied your horse outside to. What's with you? You never leave her side. Going out into the woods to meet up with some secret lover?" She laughs at her own joke while my mind takes off. I was glad she tied Shadowmere up and already got the room, but what message would she want Valga to give me.

"Please, getting my tail dirty for a few minutes pleasure with some young nord is hardly my idea of romance." I let out a fake laugh that comes out more of a squeak. "So, what was that message Aela gave you?" I ask as I watch my friend down a tankard of mead fit for a giant.

"She wanted you to meet her in the room she rented. _Alone._" She put emphasis on the last word as if to silently warn me that Aela looked like she would skin me alive if I didn't go in alone the moment I heard the message. With a sigh I take fifty gold coins out of my purse and pass them over to my friend and explain "For anything she," I jerk my head towards Astrid. "wants while I'm gone. Keep the extra for yourself." As I turn toward Astrid I hear her say in a exaggerated tone "I have ears. Go. I'll be fine, if I want to sleep I'll just use some of the gold you gave me to get a room. Now I'd hurry if I were you."

* * *

As I push open the door I quickly scan the room. Aela has her bow and quiver resting against the far wall while her pack lays on the only table in the room. In one of the two chair lay Aela's clothes, boots, and knife. Laying on the bed fast asleep and mumbling was Aela herself. With a smile I quietly shut the door and sneak across to the bed.

After quickly stripping I climb into the small bed and wrap my arms around Aela. As I snuggled deeper in the bed and try to warm myself I think of all that's happened. I can't help but smile at my luck. Not only did I not have to pay for our room but Aela had fallen asleep while waiting for me. My smile turns into a frown as I remember when I would have loved the idea of Aela naked and waiting my return.

With all of my thinking I don't hear Aela's mumbling stop. I also don't feel her breathing become uneven and her shift in my arms. She somehow manages to flip herself around with me being none the wiser. I nearly jump out of my skin when I hear her whisper, "Well, what do I have here?"


	6. Spark

A noise of surprise traps itself in my throat as I stare at Aela. For a few moments all I can do is silently open and close my mouth. With my wide eyes and gasping I have no doubts I look like I'm doing a bad impersonation of a salmon. After realizing how idiotic I must look I quickly shut my jaws with a loud *snap*.

Even in my current position I can't help but notice the look Aela is giving me. The last time I saw that kind of spark in her eyes was on the eve of our wedding. I also can't help but remember the pain of walking the next day. For a fleeting moment I consider breaking free of her embrace. The only thing that stops me is the thought of half of Falkreath seeing me naked.

My thoughts are quickly stolen from me when I feel a nose nuzzle my neck. Just as I manage to grasp onto a coherent thought Aela begins nibbling. And with that coherency goes out the door. It's only when I feel her begin moving south I gather enough strength to hiss "Nooooo." I feel her hands tighten and her angry face appears an inch away from mine two seconds later.

My ears flatten and my eyes widen as Aela's stare bores into me. Her lips curl and I have to strain to hear her spit "What!?". I blink and gingerly whisper "Please?". That was by far the dumbest move of my life. As she stands I feel her hands shove my gut, and moments later my face and the floor get very well acquainted.

I slowly look up to see Aela standing a foot away with her clothes in hand. She's giving me a look as if I were a dying wolf infested with rockjoint. When I attempt to push myself up I feel her foot connect with my back and find myself back where I started. As I open my mouth to apologize she hissed and glares harder than ever. The next thing I know she begins speaking.

"When I first saw you at Jorrvaskr I thought you were little more than a overgrown house cat that taught herself to swing a sword. I soon learned how wrong I was. You proved yourself, slowly but surely. And then before I knew it I was in the The Underforge helping you get one of the greatest blessings ever. And when we fought side by side to avenge Skjor I felt something."

"And then in a flash you and I were fighting Kodlak's wolf spirit. And then after it was done I saw it. An Amulet of Mara nestled between your breast. I thought _finally. Finally I'll get to ask her._ And when you said yes I felt like the luckiest woman in all of Skyrim. And after the wedding you just came up and said 'Oh by the way, I have two kids'. Did you even think of telling me before?! Oh, no this woman just committed herself to me and I won't even mention I have two daughters."

"I thanked the gods when you told me you had a house in Solitude. At least me and the kids will be safe during the months you aren't there. And now this! We go on this wild goose chase to bring back an assassin leader! AN ASSASSIN LEADER! I was under the impression we were looking for a Totem of Hircine, but nope let's bring back a dead woman! DO YOU HAVE A BRAIN IN THAT SKULL OF YOURS!?

"And all the while you've acted as if I have a disease. You won't touch me, look at me, or even talk to me for more than a few minutes. Do you even love me? No, don't you dare answer." Suddenly she's slamming her clothes on and yanking her items to her.

"I'll be in Solitude. You know in that big empty house with the two kids you've basically abandoned. Don't you dare follow me. And when you decide to pull your big fat head out of your arse you know where I'll be. And when you decide to get off your high horse and realize the you have commitments, I'll be willing to forgive you. Until then GOOD BYE!" And before I can stop her she's running. Running away as fast as her legs will carry her.

Not even a heartbeat after she turns I'm forcing my arms to move. As I stagger to my feet I turn towards the door and feel a yell rise in my throat. "Please! Aela, don't go! I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry!". I continue yelling, begging really, for her to stop. For her to give me another chance. The patrons of Dead Man's Drink turn to watch the rare sight of a naked khajiit woman running through the bar, but I couldn't care less.

As I burst into the night I search frantically for any sign of Aela. When I spot her exiting Falkreath I force my burning legs to carry me even faster. "Aela p-". My words are cut off by an arrow meeting my shoulder and a spray of blood. As my back meets the ground I hear her yell "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO FOLLOW ME!".

As I cower naked, filthy, and afraid she stalks forward like a saber cat toward a injured deer. "I've said all I will to you. If you dare follow me I'll make it to where you can't" As she turns and prowls away I can't help but whimper and sink in on myself. She pauses for a moment, then continues as if nothing had happened.

A thousand thoughts swirl in my head and I feel my stomach churn. As I feel myself begin to retch up my crude dinner I turn my head to my side, as to not dirty myself any further. With no hope or certainty I curl into a small ball, as if I were again a kitten attempting to hide in the warmth of my mothers stomach. My salty tears come quickly and are accompanied by my crying wails and shaking. As my crying reaches its peak I feel strong arms lift me and cradle me against a strong chest.


	7. Bloody Wounds

As I feel myself being carried away I can't help but contemplate on what just happened. It's only when I feel myself being placed down I bother looking up at whoever bothered to see what was going on. Through my cloudy vision I see Valdr giving me a look of great concern.

For a brief moment I'm left alone while Valdr moves behind the bar. As I look around at the ,now abandoned, tavern I realized I'm sitting atop a cleared table. "Hey. You alright?" Valga ask as she slowly approaches me. With a snort/laugh I bury my head in my hands and fight the urge to begin wailing.

After a moment I feel Valga hesitantly place her arms on my shoulders. I almost laugh when she begins making horrid attempts at soothing noises. After maybe a minute she abandons her futile attempt and simply sits beside me. Valdr then appears with a cloth, piece of wood, and three bottles of the bars strongest drink.

As it dawns on me what he plans on doing I can't help but groan. As he passes me the bottle he leans down to get a closer look at the arrow. After chugging the first bottle I proceed to do the same to the second and third. As I feel myself become lightheaded I'm vaguely aware of Valdr tapping the arrow.

It's only when he forces the wood between my teeth I realize he's ready. I feel the arrow slightly move as Valdr's thick hand wraps around it. "Ready?" He ask as he places his other hand on the table. Mentally preparing myself I close my eyes and nod. As I feel muscle and flesh rip I tighten my jaws, let a scream rise in my throat, and feel the wood begin to splinter. It's only when the arrow stops it's progress after a few sharp tugs I open my eyes again.

Uttering a low curse Valdr releases the arrow and steps back. "What's wrong?" Valga ask with a glance at the now bleeding wound. "I don't know. It just won't come out." Valdr says as he taps the arrow once again. "Here, let me see if I can-" And with that Valga roughly grabs the arrow and pulls with all her might. The wood between my teeth snaps as the arrow reluctantly leaves my shoulder."There we go. Now if..." What Valga says next is lost to me as my vision hazes and my memory fails me.

* * *

When I awaken I'm surprised to find myself clothed in a roughspun tunic and in a warm, cozy, and clean bed. Curiously I pull the tunic away from my chest and look down at my now bandaged shoulder. Throwing the fur blankets off I swing my legs over the side of the bed and attempt to get up. Almost at once my head pounds in protest to the movement, while my shoulder screams.

Groaning I fall back and allow my head to bang away, while my once white bandages become a rosy pink. After a few moments of groaning I hear the sound of rusty hinges, no doubt groaning because of the years of no use. As my bed groans with the added weight of the intruder I consider telling him or her to leave.

Biting back the quick remark I turn my throbbing head. Expecting Valga or Valdr I almost hiss in suprise when I see the intruder is Astrid. My head throbs even more as I remember last night. With a groan I force my good arm under me and begin forcing myself up. Almost instantly I feel Astrid's firm hand on my chest, and with a slight push find myself back on the bed.

Hissing I once again try to force myself up, only for Astrid to once again force me down. I try this once more, and hiss in frustration as Astrid does it once again, but this times her hand stays. Flattening my ears I dare to glance up at Astrids face. Even through her burnt flesh I can see the "Are you done yet?" expression she's giving me.

I slowly relax my muscles, mumble unintelligibly, and look away. Astrid slowly moves her hand away and turns her body towards me. After a few moments of silence I whisper "What?". With a slight laugh she answers "Valga sent me to make sure you didn't kill yourself trying to get up. Which" She lightly puts her hand on my now freely bleeding shoulder. "it seems you almost did."

She wipes her hand on the fur blankets before continuing "Now. Care to tell me what happened last night?" With a groan I quickly relay the story. After I finish telling her I feel my eyes water at the memory of last night. Even with my aching head and screaming shoulder I curl in a small ball and try to ignore the memory of last night.

As I slowly unravel myself after a few minutes I hear Astrid say "I think we need some time to think what happened over. All I can say now is don't worry. I'm sure she didn't mean it." Ignoring my bloody wound I push myself up and stare Astrid dead in the eye. "No she meant every word. And maybe one day I'll return to her. But not now. Not for a while. The best I can hope for now is that she doesn't decide someone else is right for her."

Astrid's charred face twist in a look of thought before she says, "Well, I honestly don't know what to say. For now I guess I should ask where we go next?" Giving her a look of surprise I ask, "We?". Giving me a look of endearment she answers "Really? You thought I'd just demand to be rid of you? After all you've done? Besides, I could think of worse company. Now, any thoughts on where we're heading?"

As I stumble to my feet I stagger to the corner to grab my gear. After I have everything I turn back to Astrid. "I think I just want some time to clear my head. You know decide what I should do. Whiterun is close by, so I won't hurt myself by riding. And you won't have to be uncomfortable on the back of Shadowmere to long. We can even rest in Riverwood." With a smile she rises and says, "Then what are we waiting for? Whiterun it is.".


	8. Help

As I drop my head onto the counter of The Bannered Mare I feel Hulda push a Honningbrew Mead into my hand. I briefly lift my head to down the bottle before laying another twenty gold in front of Hulda. After the beverage burns down my throat I raise a chunk of bread to my lips to chase the mead. After the bread is finished I reach for my ,now light, coin purse.

It's only when Hulda slides the gold back I bother to look up. "I'm sorry my friend, you've bought every single bit of alcohol in the place." She removes her hand and slides the empty bottles into the trash. "Impossible..." But even as I speak I hear the word smear together. "Afraid not. EVERY SINGLE BOTTLE." She puts emphasis of the last three words, as if to point out no other customers had bought anything.

With a groan I take my gold back and slowly force myself out of the chair. As I walk back toward Breezehome I place my feet with precise precision, no need to give anyone one more thing to jabber on about. I briefly remember how I was the talk of Morthal for a short while after I had one to many drinks at the local tavern. It's only after I slam the door shut I allow myself to stumble and sway.

I hear footsteps rush down the stairs and soon hear Lydia's muffled voice. Ignoring her I stumble up the stairs and collapse in my bed. As I nod off I imagine I hear a sigh and light footsteps. As I slowly drift into the land of half awake dreams I feel myself being flipped over. Without the slightest concern I sink into the warm veil of dreams.

* * *

When I awaken I feel the now familiar pounding in my skull. But unlike three weeks ago the throb is now hardly a headache and I no longer need to empty my stomach. Pushing myself up I groan and stumble downstairs. After preparing two horse haunches and a bottle of spiced wine I collapse into a chair and raise the meat to my lips.

As the chair next to me groans I silently offer the second haunch to Astrid. After a moment of hesitation she takes the meat and tears a chunk off with her incisors. "We...need to talk." With a sigh I realize the moment I've been dreading has come. After swallowing the strip of meat I push my breakfast aside.

Turning towards her I slightly shut my eyes from the light of the fire. "Yes, Astrid?" Even now my syllables smear together. Without the slightest worry I raise the bottle to my lips. "For one-" She yanks the bottle from my hand and shakes it. "this." "Spiced wine?" I fake innocent.

With a growl she throws the bottle into the fire. "You said you wanted to clear your head. All you've done is sleep like a horker all day, drink like a slaughterfish at night, and waste gold every day like a fool." Feeling the sharp sting of her words I desperately look around for a way out.

Finding none I slowly meet her eyes again. What I expected was a cold hard fury, or maybe disgust at the very thought of me. What I didn't expect was concern, at least not this kind. Her once motherly gaze has morphed, changed into that of a companion. A equal. My already confused mind tangles itself even more at her reaction.

"I know how you feel. Arnbjorn is dead because of me. But unlike you I made peace with his death, and moved on. And I have my own strength now, I don't need help from a bottle. You have to accept that Aela isn't going to come back. Maybe one day you can return to her, but not now. Maybe not ever if we're being honest."

"I understand it's a bitter reality to accept. But if you don't, I don't know what you,Lydia, and I would do. You know for the last three weeks Lydia's been staying in your room all night. She's afraid you'll want a late night drink and end up falling down the stairs and snap your neck. Or you'll end up vomiting while you lay on your back and drown in it."

As she pauses I feel a wave of shame wash over me as I think of the pain I've cause Lydia and Astrid. "We need something to help you. Hunting, fishing, or maybe farming. Just something to help you clear your mind. And eventually get you off the bottle." Suddenly she's up and moving.

"I have the perfect idea. We need to get away from here. Get you away from the temptation of it all. And after you've cleared your mind we can decide where we go from here. I don't want to tell you where we're going, that way you can't sneak your way back for some more spiced wine."

All the while she's been gathering items and packing them into two separate bags. I notice she's packing more salt piles and arrows than anything else. After she's done she pulls a blindfold out of seemingly thin air and presents it to me. After a questioning look she sighs and moves behind me.

"As I said before I don't want us to hike all the way there just for you to come back and drink more than Brenuin." After she's tightened it I'm little more than blind. I feel her hand wrap around mine and grip tightly. "If you don't want to, I'm sure Lydia wouldn't mind watching and stopping you from drinking anymore."

At the thought of my poor housecarl having to follow me around day and night I cringe. I quickly remember the last few weeks since I've returned to Whiterun. A drunken brawl with Mikael, a sloppy kissing session with Uthgerd (I owe Saadia for pulling me away before I rented a room from Hulda), and a sharp slap from Ysolda after I told her how voluptuous her breast are. With a wince at my stupidity I squeeze Astrids hand. "Let's go..." I whisper, and within a second she pulls me off to begin our journey.


	9. Stars

When the blindfold falls away I can't help but blink from the bright light. The area she's brought me to is little more than an outcrop with sparse grass and trees surrounding it. Feeling Astrid release my hand I lower them to my sides and walk forward. Hearing a low growl I grab my great sword and prepare for a fight.

As a Saber Cat burst from the den I hear the _twang _of a bow. The cat falls and rolls a few feet before stopping inches away from my boots. As Astrid stores away her bow I silently examine the body of the beast, from the look of it he's extremely well feed and healthy. At least there is some sort of prey and plenty of water around here.

"Ach." Astrid exclaims as she drags the bloody body of a hunter from the darkness of the beast lair. Seconds later she does the same with a gleaming skeleton and a blood soaked bed roll. She makes a small pile of hunter, predator, bed roll, and meal alike about seventy feet away. After skinning the beast and searching the hunter she jogs over and into the den.

"Those guys weren't there the last time I visited here. There's still some blood in here, but I can just push some dirt over it. And. There. We. Go. Good as new." All the while I've been examining the land. I see a herd of deer grazing by the water, ingredients growing everywhere, and not a sign of human life. Satisfied I walk into the small shelter.

As she organizes the supplies I gather every pelt and piece of meat and bring them to her. Only after everything is tidy and organized does she bother to sit down. She then pulls out four rabbit haunches and salt piles. As the meat roast over the tiny fire she pulls out two jugs of milk and a hunk of bread. As she sets up the makeshift dinner I can't help but stare at the sleeping area she's made.

The sleeping mat that she threw out couldn't possibly be saved due to the amount of blood. So she dug and piled some dirt up into a small divot with the saber cats pelt for warmth. What I linger on is the fact that she only made one. I can't help but hope that she doesn't expect me to dig my own, and that this means what I think it does.

I feel her place a plate of food near me and almost at once tear into my dinner. As we silently rip the legs apart I can't help but feel a chill creep over me. The warmth of the sun is dying and leaving a icy coldness in its place. We must be farther north than I originally thought.

As I wipe my face Astrid rises and gathers some pelts. Once she has two bear pelts under her arm she turns, and offers me her hand. With a confused glance I take her hand and follow her outside. She leads me to the top of the outcrop and releases me.

She drops one of the pelts and spreads it out into a mat of sorts. Astrid quickly lays down and scoots over to allow me room. I slowly lower myself so I'm laying a little ways away from her. "Unless you wish to freeze I suggest you get over here." Stunned at her response I slowly inch towards her and stop when we have roughly half a foot between us.

With a sigh she scoots closer until we're laying side by side. I expect her to stop but she yet again surprises me. She throws the other bear pelt over us before flipping onto her side and wrapping her arms around me. For a moment my breath stops and I freeze up, before relaxing. Even before her betrayal she never got this close.

I wonder for a brief moment if her being my thrall changed her feelings and thoughts about me. I quickly brush it off, I'd asked this question to many wizards, and they'd all said being a thrall doesn't changed much, the only thing that changes is that they instinctively know where you are. Suddenly Astrids smooth voice brings me back to reality.

"This places isn't exactly secret. But not many people wish to trudge all the way out here. I'm surprised that hunter decided to camp here. I thought that fresh air would help you clear your head, but there's something else I wanted to show you." And with that she raises her left arm toward the sky. I can't help but feel small at the sight.

The stars are spread out before us, surrounded by nothing but an inky blackness. I suppose I never bothered to look at how amazing the stars were on my travels. For about the period of an hour she points at different clusters of stars and tells me the names of them. I already know most of them, but saying I don't know any and asking her to repeat them gives me an excuse to hear her voice.

By the time she lowers her arm it's roughly around ten. The coldness has set in full force and even below our pelt we're shivering. She mumbles something about using more pelts before she snuggles closer. We lay there until eleven before I suggest going to bed.

Due to the cold we all but sprint back to the den. It's warmer inside the den, but it's still cold enough we're shaking. She jumps on top of the sabers pelt and drapes the two bear pelts over her. My heart sinks and I quickly turn to look for more pelts.

As I reach for the deer hide I hear her ask, "What are you doing?" I turn to see she's moved over and has the pelts raised up, waiting for me. At once I leap beneath the pelts and get as close to Astrid as I can. With the pelts and our shared body heat we manage to stave off the cold.

Just as I'm about to fall asleep I feel Astrid turn towards me. "Hey." At once I answer her. "Yes?" There's silence for a few seconds and I finally open my eyes. She's closer now. A lot closer. I only look into her eyes for a heartbeat before she quickly pecks her lips against mine. It last less than a second and she instantly flips over and says "Good night" As I slowly lay on my back I can't help but contemplate what just happened. "Good night..." I whisper.


	10. Storm

I'm awoken the next day by a weak ray of sunlight on my face. Flipping over to avoid the nuisance of the sun I feel my arm hit the warm body next to me. Slowly opening my eyes I see Astrids sleeping face inches away from mine, her eyes flipped up far enough it's as if they're closed. I have no doubt she flipped around in the middle of the night. As she slumbers on I can't help but examine her skin.

When I first revived her all of her body was charred, cracked, and bled at the slightest provocation. Over the past few weeks she's been doing all she can to patch herself up(no matter how slight). She's already scrapped away some of the charred top layer, leaving gleaming red in the blacks place. When the red was finally seen she'd do her best to hydrate the revealed skin with water, she also did the same to her throat and it was long ago restored to its former health.

Her arms, hands,feet, and neck are now fully red and gleaming. From the looks of it she's about halfway done with her legs. On her head she's freed around her eyes, mouth, and her lips. Along her torso she's hardly started, from the looks of it she only bothered to free the area around her wounds. On her torso Lydia sewed every wound from her stabbing up nice and clean.

I grimace at the thought of how long her torso and head were going to take before they finally become red. My thoughts soon wander to another area, her organs. I've seen her eat and drink before, and she's told me once or twice when she had to relieve herself. A few wizards I've talked to speculate that when the person is brought back their fatal wounds slowly close themselves.

There's certainly no way she can ever regrown all (or most likely any) of her lost skin, but what about her internals? Would she eventually be able to do all the things she use to, or would I forever have to worry about a simple wolf bite killing her? It's only now I realized how lucky I was she packed my conjuration robes. I can't get the thought of all the dangers around here out of my head.

It's only when I feel her stirring I realize how late it's getting for sleep. As her eyes slide down to meet mine I can't help but once again think of how close we are. "Good morning." She says in her smooth voice I never tire of hearing. As she climbs out of our bed and makes her way to the cooking spit I can't help but remember last night.

As she roast the two pheasant breast over the fire I slowly get out of bed and make my way over to her. I pull out a hunk of bread and two jugs of milk, while Astrid places the meat on wooden plates. I expect this to be the end but am pleasantly surprised when she adds a shining apple to the plate.

As I crunch into the apple I see Astrid patiently waiting for me to be free. As I swallow the fruit Astrid begins, " We have enough food and water to last all winter, but I know I don't want to lay around all winter ." I briefly wonder how much food she packed. "Well, what do you want to do?" I say as I shovel down the bird breast.

"Well from the look of it a storm's about to blow in. A bad one. If we were low on food or it was a clear day I'd suggest we get some hunting done. But for now I want to get prepared." With this she begins crunching into her own apple. "Sounds about as good a plan as any. What do we need to do?" Placing her apple to the side she answers. "We can use some leather strips to tie some pelts together. Place over our supplies to keep them dry. We can pile some rocks and place the supplies on top of them in case mud comes into play."

"As for ourselves we should bundle up and be prepared to weather the storm. The outcrop won't offer much protection. There isn't a better shelter to reach in time so we'll just have to use a bear pelt and hope it doesn't rain hard enough to make our den into a mud hole.""Sounds like a plan." I say as I reach for a pelt.

* * *

As we step back to look at our handy work I hear a loud clap of thunder in the distance. Without hesitation we both run into the safety of our den and wrap the bear belt tightly around us. At first the rain slowly comes down and is hardly more than a nuisance, but soon comes down in more sheets. And by the time dark has fallen the rain is a barricade of water. And as the rain turns the dirt around us into mud I feel Astrid wrap her arms around me and bury her face in my neck. Without even asking I know this is how she'll stay the rest of the storm.


	11. Hunter and Prey

As beams of light feebly attempt to break through the dark thunderheads I can't help but marvel at the sheer length of the storm. We'd long ago thrown the pelt aside, it was now soaked and offered no protection. Surprisingly the den wasn't as muddy as we had predicted it would be. But even with the prediction being wrong we're still standing in about a half inch of mud.

There are brief periods were the storm lulls, only to return twice as hard seconds later. In those brief amounts of time I allow my eyes to flutter shut and for sleep to take me. Though only seconds later the roar of thunder and a flash of lightning awaken me. But awake or asleep one thing stays the same, Astrids strong arms never unwrap from me and her face never leaves my neck.

All through the storm only a few words have been exchanged, and those are just to see if the other's awake. We don't bother to eat, sleep, or relieve ourselves. The most interesting thing that happens is when a frighten stag leaps into our lair. He realized a moment later the mistake he'd made, but by then my dagger was already on its way to meet his skull.

After his body has been pushed to the side I sheath my blade and go back to my thoughts. For once my thoughts don't wander to the recent turn of events, but instead to the future. I imagine Whiterun, well more specifically a Whiterun where Astrid and I live. No longer caring what others think, and where the future isn't something to be feared.

I'm so engrossed in my thoughts I don't realize the rain has calmed and finally stopped. I don't even notice when Astrids arms tighten and she begins nuzzling my neck. It's only when she sharply nips my neck I'm brought back to reality. "Ow." I mumble as I move to get up, with a slight laugh Astrid follows.

As we stretch and crack our joints I watch Astrid stumble over to the cooking spit and begin preparing two horse haunches for consumption. While she cooks I gut, skin, and toss out the young stag. Turning I see a plate with a horse haunch, two gleaming apples,a bowl of horker stew, and two jugs of milk waiting for me. Astrid herself has already started her larger than normal meal.

I begin devouring my meal with no regard for table manners. After I've swallowed the last of my stew I hear Astrid speak. "Want to go take a look at what the storm did?" "Why not?" I answer as I throw her bow to her. Picking up my own I follow her outside.

Almost instantly we stop dead. Cowering not twenty feet away wet, shaking, and unresponsive was a wild mammoth. Due to second nature I draw my bow and pull back an arrow, at my side Astrid does the same. Two shots and two spurts of blood, however the beast ignores the arrows and continues shivering.

Two drawn bows, two shots, two spurts. The pattern continues for some minutes before the beast finally realizes it's under attack and begins rising. As it turns towards us we load and shoot even faster, but even then the beast continues to lurch forward. And FINALLY two shots, one spurt of blood, and one sickening squishing sound and the beast falls.

As we approach the corpse I see the arrow sticking from it's eye and the sixty others dotting it's side. As we rip our arrows from it's uncaring body I hear Astrid say "This was a good catch, but we need more. If we work together we can bring down quite a bit of prey. But if we split up we'll have twice the meat with only a little more work."

I hate the idea of separating from her, but what she says IS true. "Fine you go south and I'll go north. We can take some meat from the mammoth later." After a word of farewell she turns and walks away. As I turn I can't help but worry about her safety. It's only after a fox darts across my path I realize what I'm suppose to be doing.

With a bark the fox falls dead, a arrow straight through his skull. As I rip the arrow for the creatures head and tie him to my belt I see a flash of brown in the underbrush. After the rabbit is secured next to the fox I set off again. I stop short when I see a healthy young stag in front of me, but it's far to late.

He's seen me, and with the scent of death clinging to me he no doubt fears for his life. As he turns to run a arrow buries itself in his side, but even that isn't enough to stop him. With a scream to warn his brethren he continues running, I hot on his heels.

He makes a sharp turn and disappears behind a tree. As I leap from behind the tree I expect to see a living deer running far ahead. Instead laying on the ground a few feet away is a deer, his throat ripped out. As I crouch down to examine the body I can't help but wonder where the killer is.

I no sooner wonder this than two black paws appear at the top of my vision. Snapping my head up I just glimpse white teeth and a pink tongue. Suddenly the right side of my face is under pressure, a lot of pressure. I briefly remember when Vigilance bite my hand after I taunted him with fresh meat. Only this is worse, much much worse.

And then the teeth are gone, but not instantly. Oh no, that would hurt much much less. It's as if the wolf is determined to make this as painful as possible. It's as if he enjoys slowly dragging his teeth out of my face. And FINALLY his teeth are gone. But his paws soon meet my shoulder, and I'm on my back with a lone wolf sitting on top of me.

His bloody teeth meet my shoulder and he shakes his head as hard as he can. I quickly pull out my dagger and begin stabbing. After the sixth stab he releases me with a howl, I waste no time forcing myself up and begin running. I've only run a few feet when I feel my left thigh flare as if it's on fire, with a scream I twist around and sink my blade into the wolfs skull.

As he falls dead I resume my run, now hindered by my injuries. I don't remember getting back to the den, all I remember was trying to stop the bleeding. I also recall giving up after my thigh bled through the third bandage. Late into the night I wait along, bleeding, and afraid my blood would attract more predators.

It's well after midnight Astrid returns, she's loaded down with small game and some meat from the mammoth. She takes one look at me and drops all of the prey. She goes to work on me at once, bandaging and cleaning what I couldn't. In a matter of minutes she's cleaned me up and is mixing up some sleeping potion with plants and herbs she's managed to gather. As I take to potion and begin drifting off into sleep I hear her mumble something about infection.


	12. Nightmares and Fear

My dreams blur and mix with one another and I soon realize it's easier to go along without a care than attempt to stay on one dream. Then with no warning my dreams morph and twist, and soon I find myself glancing into Vaerminas realm. In my nightmares wolves play the star role, every nightmare featuring some new horror. Every one of them ending with a lone wolf ripping, clawing, or injuring me in some way.

Most of them only last a few minutes, however a few of them(usually the worst) last for what feels like hours. In one I'm climbing up a tree that keeps growing to escape the beast, only for him to sprout leathery wings, grab me, and carry me up into the sky before releasing me. But that one was so obviously fake it was more of a nuisance that frightening. The one that stays with me the most is when I awaken with Astrids arms around me, and when she sees I'm awake she leans in and kisses me. Only during the kiss she morphs, and soon a werewolf is in her place, and before I can scream my throat is in her mouth.

And then it stops, just like that the nightmares disappear and leave nothingness in their place. It's after a few minutes I realize I'm conscious and slowly open my eyes. I almost scream when I see Astrids face inches away from mine, half expecting her to morph right before me. But she doesn't, and I sigh with relief when I realize it's over, no more horrors to endure.

As I attempt to move my shoulder I groan in pain. The same shoulder that Aela shot now has at least six huge gashes in it. As I look around I notice something, my vision seems... off. It's then I realize a heavy bandage is covering the left side of my face. As I feel the thick cloth I silently pray my left eye is still in tact and in the socket.

While my shoulder and face have ceased to hurt one pain still remains. My left thigh feels like a dagger has been thrust into it, and a madman is jiggling it around as fast as he can. It's only then I realize my clothes lay in a neat pile at my side, I have a vague memory of stripping down to get a better look at my injuries. My fur is matted down by sweat and dried blood.

It's already clear to me that healing potions won't make a dent in my wounds. It looks like I'll have to heal the old fashion way, wonderful. Gathering my courage I look down at my thigh. Wrapped up in the clean cotton it doesn't look at all bad, but I can't help remember what the wolf looked like.

His fur patchy and filthy, claws broken and caked in blood, and his eyes a sickly yellow and cloudy. It's not a question of if he had diseases, it's of which ones. For once I'm glad my beast blood protects me from mortal diseases. But with all of the diseases he had I've no doubt my wounds will get infected, I just hope it's not bad enough we must return to Whiterun. What a play day all of the gossipers would have, a naked and wounded dovahkiin returning with a hooded woman.

Speaking of the woman I hear her breathing become uneven. I groan to get her attention, and at once her eyes snap towards me. In a instant she's at my side, her hand on my chest to discourage me from rising. She raises a stinking potion to my lips and gives me a stern look. Without a fight I open my lips and accept the vile liquid, as it goes down my throat I almost gag at the taste.

After the liquid is gone she raises a sweet concoction, and a bitter one, and finally another vile one. Only after I've gagged down the last one does she raise her hand. As she moves back I move my hand to push myself up, and at once Astrid grabs my hand and yanks it away. Sighing I give up and lay straight as a board and still as a corpse.

"Wha happen?" I manage to slur out. "Oh nothing. I just come back from hunting to find up naked and dying, nothing really interesting." For some reason anger flares in her eyes, only to die a moment later and be replaced by a deep sadness and concern. With no warning she presses her face into my chest and raps her arms around me as best she can.

As she moves away I can't help but wishing she would stay. But when she moves away I see her grab a clean cotton strip and a bowl full of ointment. When she moves back towards me I can't help but whimper, I could slit a bandits throat but when it came to medicine I was like a kitten.

"Don't worry. This won't hurt a bit, just raise your head." I comply and she slowly peels the cotton away. As the cotton is removed I notice no sight returns to my left eye. With a sound of fear I begin to raise my hand, Astrid stops me. "Don't panic. I had to put a tight strip of cotton on your eye. I was afraid the blood would get into it and infect it. And I think you're found of your sight."

Lowering my hand I feel Astrid place the ointment around my eye. As she wraps it back up I ask, "Can I at least clean the blood from my fur?" As she repeats the process with my shoulder she answers. "No. I don't want you moving. I'll find a way to clean you up later. Now lets look at that thigh."

She slowly unwraps my thigh the pain increases tenfold and I almost scream from the pain. I know instantly that this willl be a thousand times worse, and as Astrid gasp I quickly(and painfully) raise my head and wish I hadn't. My wound doesn't bleed, however it's turned a yellowish green and pus is slowly oozing out. The skin around it is taunt, shiny, and purple. With a groan my head falls back and I let sleep reclaim me.


	13. Whiterun

**Astrids POV:**

I hear the thunk of my companions head and don't even need to look up to tell she's out cold. I can't say a blame her, if my thigh looked like that I'd probably do the same. But I can't, she needs someone to be strong and take care of her. And since I'm the only person around for miles it falls to me, although I would even if Lydia was right beside me.

There's nothing I can do for her thigh with the small amount of plants I've gathered, and potions won't do anything for her. I rake my brain for anything I could do, coming up blank I simply wrap her wound in a clean bandage. As I look upon my wounded friend despair washes over me, without proper help she could easily lose her leg if not her life. If I want her to live to see her twentieth winter I better act fast.

The closest place I could go for help is Whiterun. I've not doubt Arcadia, Danica, and Farengar would know exactly how to heal her. With luck I might even be able to convince Danica to come out here and help me. But the main problem I see is leaving her alone. She can't even move let alone take care of herself, and if she tries to follow me she'd end up some beast meal.

I consider restraining her with some rope or leather, but that seems a bit much and she'd most likely be frightened and fight the binds until she's bleeding again. Not to mention if a predator managed to follow her blood trail she'd be a easy meal, although if I'm being honest she's an easy meal with both of her hands free. I can't just leave a note and expect her to lay around all day without a care.

Then an idea hits me, I quickly rake through my small plant store and soon find it. A small purplish root, combined with Nightshade it makes a deathly poison, combining it with a chickens egg makes a powerful magic shield, and with Namira's Rot it makes a sleeping potion that'll knock a mammoth out for an hour. On a human it last for one to two days, just enough for me to slip to Whiterun and back for supplies for her thigh.

Grabbing my mortar and pestle, ingredients, and a jug of water I set to work. After the sleeping potion is readying I make my way over to my companion. As I raise her head she lets out a pained groan. Murmuring words of comfort she won't hear I slowly pour the liquid in her mouth and massage it down her throat.

As I lay her head back down I can't help but notice she seems to be sleeping sounder. As I pack my stuff I can't help but notice the blood on my friends fur. I'd cleaned the den up as soon as she was taken care of, but hadn't washed her for fear she'd take offense. I despise the thought of leaving her alone in her own blood gathering filth.

If her current state she'd feel no pain if I picked her up, and her wounds have set enough they won't open up if I did. My decision made I grab a clean cloth and thrust my arm under the area where her neck and back meet, and do the same to her knees. I bend my knees and grunt as I heave my companion up, she was by far heavier than she looked.

As I slowly make my way to the bubbling pond I wonder if my friend has secretly been eating rocks. When I'm in the shallows I turn and deposit my friend on the shore, roughly a inch away from the lapping water. I dunk the cloth in the water and stop short. Most of her body is covered in crimson and matted down fiercely. I decided to start on her stomach which seems to suffer the worst. It takes a few minutes of scrubbing with all of my might before her fur loosens, and another few before her fur returns to gray.

I continue this process for what feels like hours. Slowly head,chest,neck,and tail are freed of crimson and return to gray. However I stop at the last area drenched in blood. Her thigh opposite the injured one is gleaming red from her blood. If I leave it it'll no doubt be disgusting by the time she's able to clean it, but if I cleaned it would she be disturbed by the fact I cleaned her inner thigh while she lay unconscious?

Making up my mind I grab her thigh and begin scrubbing. While her stomach was the most blood soaked her thighs fur refuses to release the blood, and it takes me twice the normal amount of time before her thigh is clean. Sighing I heave her up once again and lay her in bed, wrapping her in enough furs she won't freeze at night. Hesitating for a moment I lean in a give her a lingering kiss, I had to do that once, just in case for some reason I don't return or we both perish. Turning away I open the map and set out for Whiterun, worrying about her all the way.

* * *

By the time I make my way into Whiterun it's around mid-afternoon and the city is up and bustling. As I make my way to the marketplace people seem to melt away from me. A woman at the forge disappears behind the smelter, a young man carrying firewood turns a corner much to sharply, and a finely dressed redguard all but runs into the nearest store.

The marketplace is no better. An elderly woman turns and hides in the tavern, a redguard couple quickly ascend the stairs, and a mother grabs her daughter and follows the redguards. Only one woman bothers to remain in the marketplace, looking slightly baffled at why the area cleared out so suddenly.

I've seen the listener talk to her on more than one occasion, I strain to remember her name. "Ysolda." I call out as I approach the young nord. Looking up I see confusion flash across her face. "You. You're one of the dovahkiins friends?" She ask while trying to get a better look at my face.

Hiding my face as best I can I answer, "Yes. Speaking of her,she requires help. And as you can see the citizens aren't likely to assist me. Even if it means the dovahkiin shall die a horrible death." At my words her eyes widen and alarm crosses her face. "What can I do?" And with that I suddenly feel the weight of keeping my friend alive lessen, and half of it settles of Ysoldas shoulders.


	14. Fondue

As soon as Ysolda is fully informed of the listeners wounds she turns and leads me toward one of the shops. Following I realize how small this city is compared to others. We quickly reach the store, which Ysolda enters without any hesitation. As I walk in the sound of humming reaches my ears, and the smell of plants overcomes me.

The herbalist raises her head when her front door is opened, no surprise her store is one of the less visited. When she sees me she tenses, but visibly relaxes when she notices Ysolda. "Greetings friends, how may I help you?" After she's done greeting us I gently push Ysolda aside and take the lead. "What can I do for you?" As I approach she straightens and pushes a piece of paper aside. I make sure she doesn't see my face or hands.

"I'm assuming you know who the Dovahkiin is. From what Ysolda told me you have quite a way with wounds. And she told me the Dovahkiin and you have at least a semi-close relationship. She and I went on a hunting trip, during which a diseased wolf managed to maul her face, shoulder, and thigh. Her eye suffered minimal damage, mostly just a few scratches. Her shoulder will manage, although a few salves and herbs will assist greatly. The main problem is her thigh, it's no longer bleeding however the area around it's taunt, purple, and a rather disgusting puss is coming out."

At the mention of the Listener her eyes brightened to attention and about halfway through my speech she began writing on another piece of paper. After my speech she remains silent, however she begins moving around and gathering supplies. She spends a few minutes at the alchemy table and another few getting new supplies.

She places around twenty five small tin cans in a box and tightly seals it. "From the sound of it the infection has just started, but untreated it's a very serious threat. Have her rub a full tin in the wound and around the area each day. Not all at once but gradually over the period of the day. Keep the fur around the wound clean and trimmed. Here." She places the box into my arms, "On the house.".

"Are you sure?" I silently pray she says yes. "Of course, it's a small fortune and if she didn't use this on her wound she'd be dead by the end of the month." With a quick thank you I rush out of the store. As I near the gate I slow and wait for a pursuing Ysolda.

"I can't go all the way out there with you, but if for some reason you two need any sort of assistance you know where to find me." And with that she turns and trots away. I grasp the box harder and think of how lucky I am I know have one more ally. I set out and pray I get back before the Listener awakens.

* * *

As I slide into the den I sigh with relief when I see my friend fast asleep. I quickly unbind her face and gently apply a thin layer of herbal cream I'd made a few days earlier. I repeat the process with her shoulder, however I leave the wounds unbound to get air. I unbind her thigh wound, considering it hasn't changed I simply leave it alone and decided to start treating it when she's awake. After getting rid of her dirty cloths I crawl in bed beside her and prepare for sleep.

Knowing how cold it's going to get I wrap my arms around her and think about getting more pelts. As the night cools and darkness falls I snuggle closer and think of tonight. I can't help but wonder if the Listener would approve of this, or if she would want more space. When I first took her to the abandoned shack I was aware she preferred the fairer sex, it was a naked Aelas arms I had to pry her from.

And after she joined the family it was clear to most of the sanctuary she was a rising star and murdered in the name of Sithis. She followed orders better than anyone else, if anything more like a dog. However most of my fellow family members seemed to change their opinion later, I remember once Nazir told Babette that the Listener killed in my name and not in the name of Sithis.

At the time I'd brushed it off unconcerned, but it became apparent to me later that what he said was true. I'd simply hoped her puppy crush would fade with time, it soon became apparent it was doing the opposite. A few young murderers have convinced themselves they were in love with me, but never to her extent. It's only recently I discovered something.

Everyone of those murderers had gotten over me after a few contracts. However the listener never faltered, and she even felt so strongly about me she went to such lengths as to bring me back from the void. No, not only did she do that. By bringing me back she defied the Night Mother, no Sithis himself. And I remember she told me about how she continued to respect me. Oh, what our family members would think of us.

My thoughts are then turned towards my dearly departed family. The pain it causes me to think of them is almost physical. My mind lingers on Arnbjorn, a thousand thoughts come to mind. After the Listener brought me back I swore I'd never love another. It's only after seeing the Listener use mead as I crutch I realized it was to late.

I remember when I abducted the Listener I'd been disappointed when I'd discovered a small shrine to Hircine in her bedroom, while worshiping Hircine didn't mean she had beast blood it was almost a given. I recall when Arnjorn first got it he didn't change a bit. And suddenly one day I awoke to fine the man I loved replaced by a drooling dog in human form. Always having him go on about meat and hunting got old after a few years. Or minutes.

I suddenly realize what it must have been like for the Listener after she married Aela. Only unlike Arnbjorn and I they went through countless trials before they wed. My active mind had successfully managed to tangle itself up. Thoughts of Arnbjorn and the Listener always manage to knot together.

Opening my eyes I see it's pitch black, it must be around midnight. I manage to make out the outline of my friends face. With her face in mind I make a silent vow. The past should stay on the past, and I shouldn't allow the dead to interfere with my relationships with the living. And with that I press my face into the Listeners neck and fall asleep.

* * *

I open my eyes to see my friends eyes starring back. I bite my tongue to keep from screaming in surprise. I suddenly realize her eyes are glassy and her breathing is even, sure enough she's fast asleep with her eyes open. Covering her eyes I get up and make my way over to the cooking spit. I slowly prepare two meals of venison, horker stew, and as a treat Elsweyr Fondue. As I place the fondue beside the plates I can't help but think that it must have been my friend who packed the Moon Sugar.

As I finish putting two jugs of milk out I hear my companion stir. Turning towards her I pick up her meal and rush over. Before she can get up I gently grab her upper body and prop her up against a rock. Mumbling her thanks she looks down at her meal. Her ears straighten and eyes brighten when she sees the fondue. As she wolfs down her venison, stew, and milk I tell her, "I ran to Whiterun and got some supplies, we're suppose to rub a can of this," I show her the tin. "on your thigh each day over a period of time."

She considers this for a moment before saying, "Okay. Wait, you went and got all of those tins in one night?" Ah what I feared most happened. "Well, no. You blacked out and I've been gone for a few days." Thankfully she leaves the matter. "Anything else?" "You should keep your fur clean."

She grunts and turns her attention to the Elsweyr Fondue, unlike the other foods she seems to restrain herself and attempt to enjoy the food. I'd only had Elsweyr cuisine once and that was enough for me. Eating it was like trying to chew an entire block of sugar, not to mention I couldn't get around the fact it had Moon Sugar in it.

As she places the bowl away I open the tin and pass it to her. She gingerly dabs her finger into it and begins moving her legs apart to reach her wound. At once I grab her empty bowl and turn away, no need to creep her out by starring at her. I hear the tin click against stone and turn around, my companion is now laying against the rock with her eyes closed.

I crawl over to her and put my hand on her shoulder. She mumbles and opens her eyes. "Can you do me a favor?" At once I nod and she continues "Keep this," She hands me a small silver ring."safe". And with that she drags her bow over to her and begins polishing it. I can't help but examine the ring. It looks like plain silver, although a carved wolf head protrudes from it. I don't need to ask to know this is a Daedric artifact, although the last time I saw it was when I was reading up on werewolves when Arnbjorn became one. I pocket the ring as I pull my own bow over to me.

* * *

The day ends up being a total waste, all we do is sit around and polish our weapons or play children games. Slowly the Listener applies the cream to her thigh and eats more food to make up for the days of not eating. I polish the weapons and manage to shoot a rabbit that wanders to close to our den. It's only until night falls anything interesting happens. As I snuggle into our makeshift bed I wrap my arms around the Listener. After I'm sure she's asleep I quietly whisper, "I think I love you..." And as I drift into sleep I swear I hear "I know I love you.." It's only as my dreams take over I pray it wasn't a tired hallucination.


End file.
